There’s a kind of romantic comedy that I’m really getting tired of. There’s no name for it, but it’s basically this: a guy doesn’t know if a girl likes him, even though it’s very obvious that she does. Mind you, there are rom-coms that have this trope, but do it very, very well. Teasing Master Takagi-san, Uzaki-chan Wants to Hang Out!, Don’t Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro, and Please Go Home, Miss Akutsu are four that take this premise and fill it with amazing storytelling and heart. However, there have been people who take this trope, and basically do nothing unique with it.

This happened a couple of times last year in the anime realm. Can a Boy-Girl Friendship Survive? had an interesting premise, but its failure was in having a truly detestable female lead. My Friend’s Little Sister Has It In for Me! had the same problem, with unlikable one-dimensional characters who do things in a world filled with truly stupid people. And now, we’ve come to this past season’s You Can’t Be In a Rom-Com with Your Childhood Friends!. Not only is this the worst of the three, but it may be the worst rom-com I’ve watched since Rent-A-Girlfriend.

Our “heartthrob” in You Can’t Be In a Rom-Com with Your Childhood Friends! is Yonosuke “Eiyuu” Sakai (Takehiro Urao), who grew up reading manga where longtime friends turn into lovers. But he fully believes that these stories are fictional, as…well, you saw the title of this anime. However, there are four childhood friends who are out to prove him wrong, and they each have their own tropes that make them “stand out”. And I’ve put that phrase in quotation marks because there’s almost nothing that makes them unique.

First, there’s the girl next door, Shio Minamo (Rin Kusumi), who often sneaks into Eiyuu’s house to hang with him. Akari Hiodoshi (Yu Serizawa) is also close to Eiyuu, but often acts like a tsundere. Run Tsumiki (Sae Hiratsuka) is a year younger than Eiyuu, so she plays the “little sister” role with him. Lastly, there’s the tomboy Haru Hinata (Yuki Yamamoto), whose trope is basically, “Huh?! You were a girl this whole time?!”

So yeah, a collection of different rom-com female leads in one show. The problem: You Can’t Be In a Rom-Com with Your Childhood Friends! does the bare minimum to give them any sort of personality. They act the part, and then try to shoehorn in a moment to woo Eiyuu as best as they can. But because he is the stubborn type, almost no progress is made not just in the romantic realm, but even in the friendship department. (Also, they had the audacity to introduce Haru nine episodes into the series!)

With it having a high school setting, the anime does go through the motions when it comes to certain life events. The summer matsuri, sports festivals, and going to the beach are all shown with very little-to-no personality. These are moments where other rom-coms shine, as it gives the male protagonist the chance to get closer to the female protagonist. Here, due to Eiyuu’s terrible means of accepting reality, nothing grows in any one of these characters’ hearts. Basically, viewers are subjected to twelve 23-minute-long Nothing Sandwiches.

What does You Can’t Be In a Rom-Com with Your Childhood Friends! do instead? Lazy fan-service. Panty shots, bathing scenes, feet stuff, and moments where one of the girls falls on top of Eiyuu in a promiscuous fashion. Nary any of these scenes feels like a reward to the viewer; only padding to make up for the lack of an interesting story. It’s also not animated well, showing just how far down the totem pole Tezuka Productions has fallen since its founder’s heyday.

All of the voice actors at least try to do what they can with the material they’re given, even though that’s not saying much. Hiratsuka gets the little sister vibe right as Runa, and Yamamoto makes an effort to add a boyish style to her sweetness as Haru. But man, no disrespect to Urao, but Eiyuu’s voice makes me want to pick him up and throw him from my balcony window. As for Kusumi (Shio) and Serizawa (Akari), I’ve heard them do better work in the past.

You Can’t Be In a Rom-Com with Your Childhood Friends! is how you don’t make an anime romantic comedy. The characters are dull, the story is nonexistent, and the actual humor is as funny as the Black Plague. There are so many other romantic comedies that are better suited for your time. (In fact, I named four of them at the start of this review!) So do yourself a favor: watch or read one of those, and steer far, far away from the utter idiocy that is You Can’t Be In a Rom-Com with Your Childhood Friends!

Also, yes, you can be in a rom-com with a childhood friend. There are millions of instances where this has happened, both in fiction and in real life. Stop lying!

You Can’t Be In a Rom-Com with Your Childhood Friends! can be viewed on Crunchyroll and has been licensed by Crunchyroll. Episodes 1-12 were observed for review. Promotional consideration provided by Crunchyroll.